Have you loved and lost someone close to you and felt like your heart has been crushed? If this has happened to you for the first time, you may not know how to deal with the heartbreak.
It hurts physically, emotionally, and mentally and you may just want to lie in bed and cry. Maybe you are blaming yourself and asking what you could have done differently? Or feeling so low and wondering if it will ever get better?
In this article, I want to share with you my top 10 tips to help you heal from a broken love and support yourself through the healing process. Most importantly I want to show you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Heartbreaks hurt and take time to overcome but here are some things you can START TODAY to help ease the pain:
This is one of the most important first steps to take. Self-compassion is crucial to letting go, moving forward and getting stronger. There are no quick fixes and healing is an important part of the process and your journey. It is ok not to be ok and is important that you allow yourself the space and time to grieve, hurt and feel all the emotions. Treat yourself with love and respect and take one day at a time.
You may be used to caring more about others but now is time to take care of yourself. Make sure you eat and sleep properly to maintain your energy levels and enhance your mental and physical health. In addition, make time to work out, whether it is running, walking or any other exercise you enjoy. Doing exercises releases serotonin hormone and endorphins which promote pleasure, happiness, and feelings of well-being.
3: START SAYING YES TO YOU
Now is the time to stop pleasing everyone else, to focus on yourself and enjoy some self-discovery time. Do things that excite you and make you smile and feel joy. Maybe there is something you have wanted to do for a while and have not made time for? Or something you want to do but would not usually do it? Now is the time to do something new and focus on you.
4: POSITIVITY & MINDSET
This will allow you to reach inner peace and acceptance. Daily practices that I highly recommend: meditation to quiet the mind and mindfulness to increase awareness of your thoughts and help you control what you focus your attention on. In addition, every night before you go to sleep write down or say to yourself 3 positive things that happened to you during the day to enhance your positive energy.
5: KINDNESS & SUPPORT
Helping someone else will not only do good and make you feel better, it will also distract you from yourself and your heartache. If you help someone else in a similar situation you may also meet supportive people that will help you through your process too. Support groups and online communities are great ways to share how you are feeling with like-minded people who understand what you are going through.
6: GO IN THE NATURE & WRITE A JOURNAL
Being outside and exposed to sunlight is a guaranteed mood booster. It is also a great way to disconnect from the mental noise that fills your mind and connect to yourself to feel a sense of inner peace. Writing and journaling is a powerful way to express and organize your thoughts, as well as to process and release your feelings and emotions.
Make a list of your strengths and things you love about yourself. It will empower you and remind you how great you are and that your happiness is not dependent on anyone else. Now is the time to start loving and accepting yourself for who you are. Self-love and acceptance is a daily practice to help you embrace who you are, stop comparing yourself to everyone else and realize that you deserve the best.
8: MAKE A LIST WHY IT ENDED & HOW IT MADE YOU FEEL
This is important because we tend to only remember and idealize the good times, especially when we feel lonely. Remembering the reasons why your relationship ended will help you to see the lessons you need to learn and move forward. It will also help you to understand what was missing and what you need and want more of in your next relationship.
9: DETACH FROM SOCIAL MEDIA
Especially if it involves following what your ex is doing. If you do not want to totally block him, you should at least hide his posts to not see them. He does not even need to know about it. Following his every move will stop you from living in the present moment and moving forward. If you do spend time on social media, make sure you are engaging in positive content that keeps you motivated.
10: DO NOT RUSH INTO A NEW RELATIONSHIP
Filling the void may temporarily distract you and numb the pain but it may also lead to more attachment which leads to more suffering. The only way to overcome being alone is by being alone. When you embrace time with yourself and enjoy being single, you will realize that happiness and peace come from within and cannot be fulfilled by anyone else until you love yourself first.
I know it is hard to see because you are vulnerable and hurt but there are already many good things happening in your life. Trust that the pain you are feeling is temporary and will pass. Letting go is difficult but not growing and staying stuck in the same place is more painful. Your heart will mend over time and start to fill with self-love and then you will start to view your experience as a gift that made you the person you are becoming. Challenges and difficulties come to teach us a lesson and give us an opportunity to grow.
YOU HAVE A CHOICE to see the end as a loss, or as a lesson and opportunity to rise above everything and grow stronger. Which one do you choose?