A young woman named Kashkai had been wandering here and there in her pursuit to explore the depths of her being. She communed with many lovers and went through the experiences of various sexually liberating meditation programs.
She realised we are all looking for something beyond the tangible world of sensations, but what is that sublime space, spoken of so eloquently by the Tantra Masters? What is this alluring intangible search? What is the mysterious space of eternal love and oneness we are all looking for?
Kashkai witnessed that many people stop midway on this search but there are also those who don’t even dare to start the journey.
One day Kashkai met a unique lover. It was not a love at first sight but she felt a wind of mystical sensation blow through her. The fifteen days she spent with him was intense. But then they separated and with that separation began Kashkai’s long agonising journey of pain and transformation.
As destiny would have it, they met again after five years. But this time they were different individuals. They had burnt themselves in the fire of impurities, such as possessiveness, fear, jealousy and rejection. They had emerged from their individual forays into love more pure and alive.
Two souls purified in the fire of their own weakness were finally ready for a deeper communion.
This time, Kashkai’s Lover took her into Yab Yum; their breaths becoming faster and yet deeply synchronised. She senses an intuition of unknown spiritual chemistry that is about to reveal itself.
As they embrace, each pore of their bodies opens in the desire to receive each other. They feel like thirsty animals looking at the thundering sky and waiting for the rain to quench their thirst.
He enters inside her very slowly.
She is so ready to receive him, like the sunflower opening its petals to receive the sunshine. He stays there without much movement and her whole body gradually starts to vibrate. Her Yoni expresses the joy of having him deep within by pulsating with juiciness like never before. Her whole body feels like it has become the great Yoni of the universe. She melts in his arms like the dewdrop surrenders to the river.
He abides in Tantric presence, enjoying the pleasure of feeling the warmth of her breasts, belly, hair and indeed her entire body.
He doesn’t move much except a few times in a long slow thrust, deeper into her cosmic Yoni. Her whole body vibrates with energy. Her whole body feels like one big clitoris, in tune with the music of orgasm. She feels held in her Shiva’s pure presence.
By now their two bodies have become one. In that utter stillness of union has flowered a divine meeting. Unlike her previous sexual encounters, where she craved to be penetrated by a man’s penis with force and subtle violence, where she desired orgasms whatever way they could come to her, this time she feels no such urge. In the divine stillness of ultimate union, she knows a dance is happening between their souls. Without having any need of deep rhythmic thrusting, she is already satiated, penetrated to the deepest level of her soul.
Energy is circulating in their whole bodies, effortlessly and naturally. And suddenly, in the spur of the moment, happens the ultimate union they have been longing for.
They both simultaneously experience this union with each other and oneness with the whole existence. Kashkai can’t move, yet she is ecstatic and in peace, floating in the deepest contentment of her life. She thinks, “even if death happens now, I will die in bliss.”
It is known that in some animal species, such as certain spiders or ants, the mating game is truly dying into love. The male dies in the process of his ejaculation or in some cases is even eaten by the female. Kashkai understands now, that mating rituals actually signify the death and vanishing of the ego. She realises, “Love is death”, where ego and the world of duality has been left behind. In truth, life is and has always been ‘ONENESS.’