Recently I went for a holiday to one of the Taj hotels in Goa and it reminded me how weddings in India are over hyped, over expensive, overrated and outdated.
I think most of the young men and women in India get married either because of the parents, culture, society, pressure from all or for sex. The first time many of the young people are having sex is only when they get married. Because of the cultural values which is specifically feed in girl child to have sex only after marriage. So getting sex is like a carrot which society dangles to lure youngsters into wedding. Plus I feel bollywood movies have lot of influence showing that dream wedding or fairy tale love stories. And arrange marriages in India is still very common wherein parents choose your spouse. And the reasons they will choose a suitable match will often be their status, bank balance etc.
The thing is people are having all unconscious or conventional reasons to get married. Which is probably making them feel confused, unhappy or cheating in their married life. Plus people in India marry quite young, average age a girl gets married is 20-21 and for a man is 24-25. The average age of first pregnancy among women is 21-22 years old. Means soon after wedding to have a baby. Imagine such a responsibility to have at such an early age when you are yourself kind of a child trying to see or learn many things. The exploration of life or bodies hasn’t happened before they take a responsible decision of being in a wedlock. Yes, this is another kind of lockdown, wedlock.
My question is Why in urban India we still can’t accept living in relationships much. Why divorce is still taboo in India? Why, here we might be the second largest populated country, but kind of forbidden from sexual exploration before marriage? I’m not saying we need to embrace western culture.
But through this article I’m just inviting 18+ that for you, life has just started. You are freshly out of university and having many questions or searches. Don’t let it fade away in career aspirations. Explore, travel, learn where your journey takes you. Find your own answers instead of any rule books. You might make a few mistakes on the path but trust you’ll learn some life lessons. Follow your heart, you might be still in tune with it.
Before it’s too late and your inner voice dies in this process of career race or forced wedding. Find your own path and its learnings. There is much to do. Life is in itself a school to teach us more than schools or universities.